hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
