Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
