There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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