Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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