Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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