I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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