I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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