she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
