That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
