Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
