So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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