I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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