Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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