Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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