got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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