Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
