don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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