All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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