is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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