you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
my liver is dry heaving
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
