Only a mothe r could love this liver
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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