We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
