ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize