it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
