the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize