do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize