One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
