You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
