Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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