i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
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No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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