Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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