Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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