so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
