The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
