Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
