Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
