You made me cry and you don't even care
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
