what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize