AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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