I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
