once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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