is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is my gift to your gina
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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