So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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