Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
