oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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