i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You pole danced in your parka.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
