Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
pop tarts are not kleenex
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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