I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
