Pants 0. Shit 1.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
