whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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