Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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