If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
