I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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