Where is the hickey?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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