I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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