How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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