the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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