What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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