# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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